


A Journal's Closure

by AlteredEgo



Category: Call of Duty (Video Games)
Genre: Drama, Gen, One Shot, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-03
Updated: 2020-04-03
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:14:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23459971
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlteredEgo/pseuds/AlteredEgo
Summary: SPOILERS FOR COD: MW2After the unexpected turn of events, MacTavish finds himself in a foreign storm of thoughts as roach's journal unveils its message.
Relationships: No Romantic Relationship(s)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 19





	A Journal's Closure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [madeox](https://archiveofourown.org/users/madeox/gifts).



> Author's Note: This is my first time writing something about COD and even if I played the game, i'm not that fully aware of the entire series so there will be inaccuracies. I was just devastated about Roach and Ghost's Death and I just have to write something about it.

_ Snow sweeps harshly across the raging winds of blizzard. _

_ The two soldier crouched at the narrow path of the freezing mountain, busying themselves as they relish the remaining time for their break. Soap indulged himself in inhaling nicotine from his cigar, while Roach mindlessly stare at the horizon covered in thick wind of snow. Both of them were silent and only the howl of the cold wind echoed across the mountains.  _ _ Soap darted his eyes at the younger soldier, who in turn replied a knowing look. As to what the sergeant is trying to imply, soap cant seem to decipher.  _

_ “They said that only dead men gets to see the end of war” Roach said, a weak smile slowly forming across his frozen dried lips, sad blue eyes reflecting the perfect image of the harsh blizzard that surrounds them. MacTavish raised a brow in question at the sudden words coming from the sergeant. Roach was not a sentimental nor philosophic on things regarding any issue. ‘what the hell is he talking about?’  _

_ The sergeant wasn’t that talkative and always remained silent in almost every mission, yet was friendly all the same. Smiles and gleam of hope had always crossed roach’s eyes but the soldier in front of him seems to differ from the man he knew.  _ _ He remained silent and waited for the young soldier to continue, " _ _ And I’m quite sad I had seen it sooner” Roach muttered almost inaudible but was clear enough for soap to hear. The sergeant shifted his gaze at the endless white storm, his expression slowly mirroring a calm and contented man, face frosted from the storm that rages in front.  _ _ He let out a sigh.  _

_ " _ _ but I’m glad to be of service”  _

* * *

Mactavish snapped his eyes open, Sharp pain across his chest had taken his senses back and slapped him the realization that it was only a dream. The echo of the howling cold wind was replaced by the loud sound of the chopper as it hovers above the pine forest, with the sun that slowly dive down to set over the horizon, casting an ever growing shadow among the landscape. Soap found himself wishing everything took a different turn.  That everyone is still waiting back from the base.  Price sitting beside him instead of roach, anchored the ugly truth, that this was reality. “Hang in there Soap” the tone of his voice was coated in worry. Mactavish only managed to reply with a few set of pained grunts as he realigned himself into a more comfortable position, his wound sending a rush of pain all through out his body. He winced and gritted his teeth, attempting to hold back a scream. 

“Dont move alot idiot, you’ll reopen the wound” Price scolded, holding the soldier to stop any further movements. Soap narrowed his eyes at the sight of his wound, it was stitched close but the dried blood that traveled down to his stomach only shows how deep the wound must have been.  Yet despite the pain, it bears a great reminder that Shepherd is dead. He had avenged Ghost and Roach.

“ETA 15 minutes” Nikolai informed over to his seat in front, his focus remained at the front of the chopper, careful not to invite any unwanted guess as they hover. 

“Alarm the medics, we have to stitch his wound again” Price commanded in which Nikolai replied with a firm nod before speaking in the comm 

“This is Nikolai we need medics to operate an open wound” 

“Roger that, medics are ready” a static voice replied.

Soap moved his eyes from the wound to the sun setting down between the mountain ranges from afar, its fading light had turned the sky in a shade of yellow and orange as stars faintly appears in its trail. Its disappearing light somehow eased his pain in a small fraction and gently pulled him in his thoughts.  He wondered if they could have saved one of his best men if only they reacted to their suspicions. The information Shepherd relied on them was already sketchy and suspicious on its own, given the fact that the Intel had never said anything aside from “Makarov’s ‘Possible’ Location” and disappeared after relaying it. They were blinded by their chase after the Russian that they had never considered a betrayal.  And it cost them two great soldiers at their blindness. 

_ Its not your fault _ he reminded himself yet the more he dwell on his thoughts the more he blames himself for their deaths. Although it bear no truth, He believed that some part of their blood was on their hands.

_ Stop.  _

He closed his eyes, hoping to cast away any distraction that may persist in the future. Distraction would only lead to their failure. “You seem troubled” Price noted soap’s expression towards the setting sun, now replaced by the starlit sky as the moon arises from the opposite side.  The words slowly pulled away Mactavish from his own thoughts and opened his eyes, darting it towards Price, who stared at him with utter worry yet some how composed expression.

“We are now the betrayers, huh?” He muttered, his eyes glistened in mock surprise and hands twitched as a sign of a sudden pulse of anger “How ironic” he added and smiled bitterly, cocking his head back to where the sun had disappeared.  Price knew his subordinate is mourning at their lost and worries that it may be the cause of the man’s will to waver in times of choosing someone’s lives over the mission, but he didn’t say a word. Because he feels deep down that he too is saddened at the lost of valuable soldiers.  He only hoped that this won’t ruin them in the long run.

The chopper landed in front of a secured facility hidden across the thick forest, bombarded with different artillery defenses, the establishment itself is heavily defended. Medics rushed towards their direction and slowly retrieved soap out of the chopper and placed him at the stretcher before rushing him inside, injecting a liquid in his wrist as they did so.  Everything went blurry in his vision, the world swayed in an endless dance,blurring the figures that rally him inside the building. His body numbed in pain but he cannot find his voice to let out a scream or groan, everything slowly dispersed in shade of black as small dots started to cover his vision. The world fell in darkness and the sound of medics yelling orders were the last sound he heard before going completely out of consciousness. 

_ Once again he had found himself starring at Roach’s deep blue eyes, only this time they gleam in an emotion he cannot read. The young sergeant sat in front of the bonfire, writing words in a journal he rarely shows in front of others. He wondered if Roach had been thinking about the debriefing earlier this morning, the information shared by the Intel.  _ _ That they have located Makarov’s possible locations. _

_ He took noticed of his expression earlier, the young sergeant had been lost in thoughts for a while now.  _

__ _ Roach, you should go back inside its a big day tomorrow” Soap yelled over to the door, catching the young sergeant’s attention who shut his journal close as he stood from the wooden bench. Roach nodded and slowly paced towards the door where MacTavish’s eyes him in a observant look.  _

_ " _ _ You alright mate?” MacTavish asked, placing his hands over the sergeant’s shoulder. Roach halted at the gesture and faced him, his expression softened “Aye” he smiled weakly “I'm just not sure about this” Roach’s eyes stared down as if he begun to wander in his thoughts again. _

_ “About what?The operation?” Soap casts him a questioning gaze and removed his hand from the sergeant’s shoulder, pulling both of his arm in a cross manner at his chest,. MacTavish had never seen Roach doubt in missions, sure the stakes of dying are higher in each mission they take but the Sergeant never showed any sign of fear or second thoughts even after being faced by several misfortune. _

_ Unless he knew something that he doesn’t.  _

_ “Something bothering about it?” Soap asked again, snapping Roach from a trance. “No, I feel like something is not right” the sergeant avoided his gaze and turned to face the hallway, where most soldiers are sleeping at this hour.  _

_ “Sleep, its probably just because you’re tired” Soap suggested and patted his shoulder one last time before the Sergeant nodded “Aye, you should sleep too, Captain” Roach pulled off a weak smile, anxiety still visible from his face as he left MacTavish standing at the door,  _ _ “Probably” MacTavish muttered to himself, shifting his gaze outside and closed the door.  _

__

* * *

  


As he came back to his consciousness, Soap took noticed he was lying in a hospital bed, the ceiling colored in plain white, walls were no different and blended along the ceiling, empty beds lined themselves in both left and right side, windows were widely opened to let the fresh wind travel inside.  He gently forced himself in a sitting position, careful not to reopen his wound again. There was no pain and it was probably because the meds are still kicking in. He wandered his eyes and spotted a few medicines and a glass of water placed at the small tray beside his bed along with a small notebook.  A note was placed above it that contained the words ‘Thought you might need to see this’.  He didn’t question and quickly thought it was Price who placed it there, it was Roach’s journal. The cover was burnt, it’s shape was eaten by the black smudges of ash. MacTavish didn’t had any idea as to why would Price or anyone wanted him to read it, but something tells him that he really should.  His fingers skimmed the cover and for a moment he hesitated before eventually finding himself flipping all over the pages. Most of it are burnt, letters are almost unreadable and half of the pages are either half burnt or completely devoured by the fire. Soap stopped as he caught a word he never expected he would find from Roach’s journal.

_ Soap…Captain MacTavish’s nickname. It’s kinda funny, but then mine is no better. I wonder what story or reason does he had for having it, maybe that’s the fact I’ll never know. This person, ‘Price’ seems to be someone MacTavish has known for a long time, well base on what I have seen when we rescued him (would have been faster if Lieutenant Ghost could hack properly). I wish I had someone like Soap has Price, not that I haven’t enjoyed the company of 141 they are actually fun to be around. Its just good to have someone you trusted for a long time.  _

The rest of the page were burnt out, but it was clear enough what does it hold. MacTavish couldn’t help but smile as he flip the page over. He didn’t knew Roach had envied the relationship he had with Price, but then again it felt wrong looking over Roach’s personal stuff so he skipped multiple of pages until his eyes landed on a phrase that took his interest the most.

_ Makarov is located. Can’t believe that after all the endless mission that seem to accomplish nothing. We finally have a lead to where the fucker is. Still, it felt too good to be true. Something tells me this is far from over. Either way at least we are somehow going into something. Just can’t help but worry.  _ _ Mactavish seems to notice how uneasy I was. Tried to comfort me in his way.Maybe he is right. Maybe I’m just….tired.  _

He flipped to the next and last page and he was met with a clean page. He furrowed his brow in confusion but as he closed it and place it back to the tray of medicines, a picture fell off to his bed.

It was the group photo they took somewhere between there missions in pursuit of Makarov’s whereabouts. As MacTavish stared at the men he once had, a familiar pain of lost resonated in his chest. He flipped the picture and found Roach’s familiar hand writing.

_ Whatever happens , I know we will be fighting all this together. Always have each other to watch our six. Fight our way against any odds and put an end to the wankers reign.  _ _ We walk with our one foot in the grave and the other in the corpse of others, this is the risk we voluntarily took. So even if I may not breathe or see the day of planting a bullet on Makarov’s head. Know that I regret nothing.and I would do it all over again if it’s for our cause. DOOM ON YOU MR. TANGO. _

MacTavish didn’t blink, his eyes were glued at the words he had just read. A long pause had left him frozen, his face still and unmoving. Each words whisking his thoughts away. And after what felt like an hour of silence, he smiled and breathed in a sigh of relief.  The door opened, revealing Price with a few set of medicines and Gauze “What now? What’s our next move?” Soap asked, his tone low and doubting as he set aside the photo in the table. Price smirked as he eyed Soap in a rather amused expression “Rest easy soldier” his smile never leaving his face as he approach the wounded soldier. 

“The boy predicted this didn’t he?”

Price never thought of it but it seems the lost for someone wouldn’t really serve as a distraction, but rather a fuel on someone’s will and probably even strengthen one’s resolve. Sure, the soldier might still grief but it has now direction. The blame is all centered to the one who really is in fault. 

“Aye, indeed he did”

* * *

** END  
**


End file.
